How many times do you get mad at your husband in one day? I don’t mean a knock-down-drag-out fight. I simply mean, just not happy with him over something he has done, or not done?
“Better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife” (Prov. 21:19).
“Better to live on the corner of a roof than to share a house with a nagging wife” (Prov. 25:24).
As a woman, I cringe when I hear these verses. Where are the verses about being a lazy man, or a workaholic, or something other than what I could be!?
I noticed that my husband was always off at work when I started complaining. Tripping over his big shoes, not taking out the trash, leaving his dirty dishes out from the night before, the wet towel on the ground, never doing __________. You name it, and I would grip about it.
God would always bring these verses to my mind, and as much as I hated to admit it, I was that nagging wife. Oh good, he’s not home though, he can’t call me nagging! Someone has to hear you nag in order to be a nagging wife, right!?
Well…
When he did come home, I would hold my tongue for the first little bit, but as the evening went on, I began to subtlety complain, not “nag”. You know what I mean!
“Honey, I really need that trash taken out so I can cook dinner. I can’t stuff another thing in it because you forgot to take it out this morning.”
“Could you please pick your shoes up? I stubbed my toe on them again!”
“I can’t really expect the kids to help me with dishes if you aren’t going to.”
Oh yes, you know what I mean! That subtle complaining turns more and more into nagging, and with each huff of my breath, the anger began to build. Should I be surprised that my anger comes spilling out when throughout the whole day I have stored up anger against my husband!?
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he;” (Prov. 23:7).
“For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:25
These verses omit the thought that we aren’t nagging wives as long as nobody hears us! God’s word says we are what is in our heart, and eventually it will come out.
How do we stop the nagging then?
It all begins in our heart.
We must stop the complaining and angry thoughts throughout the day. When a negative thought pops into our mind, we must take it captive and bring it before the Lord and ask Him to help us deal with it. We need to thank God for our husbands, and replace those bad thoughts with good ones. We need a change of heart!
You see, the issue isn’t really with him, it’s with me. I need God’s help to change. I can try with all my might to hold my tongue, control my temper, and have a grateful heart, but without God’s help, I am doomed to fail. God has to change us from the inside first. Then, what comes out will be fruits of His Spirit and not my spirit.
“A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” (Luke 6:25).
Take your thoughts and complaints to Him and see how He begins to change you from the inside out!