I know what you were looking at on your phone last night. In fact, according to a recent study, you’re probably one of the 40 million Americans who viewed pornography yesterday alone.
No, I’m not throwing a Bible at you, nor is my intention to heap guilt on you. I’m reaching out in humility to communicate, not only to those who had a pornography addiction, but also to those who do not.
There are three different kinds of people who view porn on a regular basis. If I may be so bold as to outline these three people in this blog, I approach you with humility, love and conviction. I have named these three people, and I would like to introduce them to you now.
First, I would like you to meet Kyle. Kyle is not a follower of Christ, and he looks at porn. He views it because that’s what society has said can make him happy or bring him satisfaction. He is the unsaved embodiment of Eccl. 3:11 as he has a longing in his heart for something more but fails to see it.
Kyle may have first viewed porn as young as 8 years old. Porn is slowly eating away at his self-confidence. He seeks wholeness and finds only a dry well of lust in the desert of pornography.
Second, you must meet my friend Lindsay. Lindsay is a follower of Christ and looks at porn. Lindsay is an interesting case, but rare, she is not. She represents one of the more than 13 million women in the United States who have viewed or is currently viewing porn.
She was raised in church and is a born-again believer. Her senior year of college she fell into the trap of porn and abided in that trap for several months.
After much conviction and battling, the Lord freed her from her porn addiction, never to return. He released the very chains she’d clasped on herself. Lindsay represents both men and women who were once slaves to pornography, or currently are but feel conviction to change.
Lastly, you will meet the most difficult of porn addicts. His name is Jim. Jim is a born-again believer in Christ and looks at porn too. He has been toying with porn for quite some time.
The difference between Jim and Lindsay is that Jim lacks conviction. While Lindsay eventually faced her addiction and changed, Jim sees no wrong in his actions. Jim is the most disturbing of the porn viewers, primarily because he is dangerously straddling the line between God’s glory and God’s wrath.
Of the last two, Jim and Lindsay, they could be anyone you see at church. They could be your Sunday School teacher, a deacon or even your pastor.
I’ve shown you three people. Now what? How does this help you as a porn viewer? How does this help you as a friend of a porn addict? Let me address all of you by addressing the problem.
Many debates have been made by doctors and psychologists much wiser than I on what provokes a porn addiction and what can prevent it. Maybe we could get rid of our phones or put protective software on our computers. Maybe we could move to the woods and live in a bunker with no Internet. Or perhaps we could even join a counseling group.
While these may work for a time, they are the equivalent to placing a Band-Aid over a broken arm. They are temporary fixes. So what is it? What is the cure for this cancerous addiction that has taken over the church, broken the Christian home, ruined the relationship of countless couples? What is it?
It’s the heart.
Stop where you are. What do you long for in this moment? That’s what you will pursue. It is the same with porn. Whether you are or know a Kyle, Lindsay or Jim the same problem reigns – a heart condition. All three people long for something more and solve it through viewing pornography.
Kyle lacked Christ. He had the ultimate desire to make his life more and grasp that which was presumably out of his reach. Lindsay lacked action. She knew Christ and loved Him but did not love Him enough to put feet to her conviction. Jim lacked conviction. He knew Christ but had strayed so far away that he lacked even the slightest twinge of guilt for his addiction.
Beloved, we face a great heart problem in America today. Whether we struggle with lack of Christ, lack of action, or lack of conviction we are missing the heartbeat of life. God speaks in Ezekiel 36:25-26 to another nation with a heart problem, “Then I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols. Moreover, I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; and I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.”
So what is the ultimate solution to pornography? A heart change. It’s not the kind of transplant that the American Heart Association can help with. No, it’s the kind that compels you to dig up the root of self-desire, cut off the limbs of pride, and offer what is left to the Lord. He promises to take it, throw it away, and grant you a new, full heart of flesh. He will cast it “as far as the East is from the West.”
You don’t have to stay up late looking at porn just to wake up feeling worthless. You don’t have to continually look over your shoulder, afraid you’ll get caught. You don’t have to beat your chest in anger that you gave in again.
Make the heart change, Brother and Sister. Make it while it still beats.