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Plan Your Marriage, Not Just Your Wedding

Plan Your Marriage, Not Just Your Wedding

I firmly think most men and women are in love with the idea of a wedding rather than a marriage (women more than men most of the time).

Most 19 to 22-year-old girls are not even remotely comprehending the idea of marriage. Oh, they say they do, but for most it’s not on their radar.   

They are sold on the amazing “perfect” wedding. Now, the idea of a “perfect” wedding is not a bad thing to ponder and work toward. We need a wedding to get to the marriage, but I think, sadly, that’s where it all stops for so many couples.

That’s the reason I believe why more than half of all marriages are crashing and burning. They think because they are now married they can just coast. 

When you Google the word “marriage,” do you know what images pop up? Wedding pictures. Like I said, the wedding is important, but if that’s where we plan to stop the train, we will derail. 

I want you to think about the wedding. Why is it that the wedding is such a crazy success 99.9 percent of the time? Because you have both parties (the husband and the wife) working toward the goal. There is so much planning, prepping, conversations, dinner dates thinking about what that day will look like.

We go to events on how to make your wedding day amazing, and we are intentional about everything on that day. It’s work to make your wedding a success. Why would we not think that it’s going to take work to make our MARRIAGE work as well? And believe me, it’s going to take work to make YOUR marriage work.  

Here are a few ideas of living out an intentional marriage.  

1. Plan together. When you were moving toward the wedding, you both sat together on a weekly basis (sometimes daily) and planned stuff. Why don’t you sit with your spouse and plan out stuff together? Start small. Plan your week together. Sit down over dinner, grab a calendar and look at your week and intentionally plan what you’d like to accomplish together. 

2. Play together. Brother, this is for you. When you were engaged and planning the wedding, you did stuff with your girl that was fun. So many times we get crusty in the marriage. We get focused on watching TV or playing on our phones. We did not do that when we were getting ready for the wedding. We were focused and looked for fun things to do together. Surprise your lady and take her to do something she enjoys. Be playful while you’re there. Make her remember why she fell in love with you.

3. Worship together! I know this sounds simple, but so often this is the one that can really be pushed to the back of your life. Make time to study God’s word together. Make time to pray together (out loud). Make time to go to church together.  When your spiritual house is in order, the rest of your life will run much, much smoother.  

I believe in marriage. I think it’s something that God set up, and we should be excited about it, but we are going to have be couples who have a plan in place to make our marriages work. Marriage can be tough, but so is life. If we have a blueprint, it can be a much smoother ride. 

I want us, as married couples, to make the commitment to have intentional marriages. When we do that, our marriages will be successful.  

Pray for one another

Pray for one another

I personally think that we are on the edge of something really big in the church world. 

For the past 70 to 80 years, we’ve done our dead-level best to make Christianity look polished and slick. When you ask the average church-goer how life is, the standard response is, “NO problems here, we’re good.” 

We have preachers who “look” like they have everything figured out. Their families are perfect; no struggles or problems, so, therefore, it’s tough to approach leaders and talk about our everyday problems. So, instead of following the mandate of James 5:16, we build a wall of isolation in the attempts to be perceived as having it all figured out. 

This is why we are seeing 50 percent of Christian marriage falling apart because we don’t have real community. We don’t have a safe place to sit down and talk through our struggles and problems. We don’t have a place to get real answers. 

Let’s be honest. When someone asks ‘How are you doing?’ If someone actually starts to unpack the messy, we get a little freaked out, and we want our cell phone to ring, so we can avoid the actual conversation. Because we don’t actually want to get involved, we just want to have the perception of being involved. 

My friends, there would be so much freedom if we as Christians just followed this one verse.  

“Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working” (James 5:16).

I need you to see what just got unpacked there. James did not say confess and gossip to one another. He said confess and PRAY FOR one another!   

If Christians would just take the time to actually care about one another, we just might see a body of people who could shake the planet for the mission of the Gospel. If we had a group of people who understood we were all flawed, but in Christ we were by no means failures, it just might generate a revival in the church.  

What we need are people in the church who want to see others succeed in Christ. We don’t need to pile drive one another into the pavement. We need to encourage each other to find Christ as our perfect Savior, who has already rescued and redeemed us from the horridness of sin and self, and simply rest in His finished work that he did on the cross on our behalf.  

I think we are so close to seeing this in the American church world. And I think that’s going to happen because of persecution. If you look at the church in Middle Eastern and European countries, this is what’s happening, and as a result, the church is growing. We are seeing authentic communities of Gospel-centered faith that are activated for the cause and mission of Jesus Christ. These people are not star struck by some preacher. They are not building a castle. They are focused on seeing the Kingdom of God built.  

“The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him” (Rom. 8:16-17).

When people suffer for the cause of the Gospel, their mindset changes. It’s no longer how they can advance their agenda, get ahead, or tear one another down. Rather, they look for ways to advance the Kingdom, win souls for Christ and sacrifice for each other. 

I think that if a bulk of people in the American church would adopt this mindset we would see a complete transformation and a spirit-filled revival.   

Suffering as a Blessing

Suffering as a Blessing

The Book of James tells us that we should rejoice in suffering. I’m going to be honest. That’s not my knee-jerk reaction.

But I will also tell you that this is why I think it is so important that Christians immerse themselves in God’s Word, because if we are not careful, we tend to get our sights set on this life and this life alone.  Scripture constantly reminds us that this is not our permanent home, and that we are just here for a few moments.

“For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come” (Heb. 13:14). 

“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog–it’s here a little while, then it’s gone” (James 4:14).

There are several promises in God’s Word about suffering.

“The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory” (Rom. 8:16-17).

Did you catch that?  His Spirit will TESTIFY that we are His children, and not just children, but HEIRS of God and co-heirs with Christ IF WE indeed share in his suffering.

So when things go south in your life, don’t be shocked. This is why we MUST ground ourselves in the truth of God’s Word in order to get us through the storms of life. Because suffering is coming regardless of if you do or do not have Christ. That’s the nature of our world.

If you’re not anchored into Jesus Christ and the truth of His Word, I can promise you this, not only will the storm come, but you will have no comfort in the midst of it. You will have nothing to truly tie yourself to. Jesus is that solid ground that upon which we can stand, and not just stand, but stand firm.

And this is what I want us to see in this blog. If we share in Christ’s suffering, we are qualified to share in his GLORY. So don’t look at your problems as problems. Start looking at them as blessings to mold you and shape you into the image of Jesus Christ.  That perspective changes the entire game.

Know that in the storms of life, Jesus is more than enough for any and all circumstances. Get your eyes off of your circumstances and look at the ONE who has already overcome your circumstances.

A False Sense of Community

A False Sense of Community

The pace of our lives sometimes can seem to just be so intense that nothing we do can alleviate any of the stresses and pressures. The noise in our lives is really difficult to walk away from, and many times, it is self-induced noise!

We are addicted to our devices and our social media.  We have to always be connected on some level. The bad thing about social media is that it gives us a false sense of community.

We think that, by being a part of this type of community, we will find some type of meaning or peace, but what really happens is that we end up worshiping this community. We look for approval, and when it does not come, we feel a major letdown, and depression will follow.

The goal of the Christian life is to place our focus and our eyes on the King (Jesus). And many times, that is easier to say than actually do. Nevertheless, it is something that is needed.  Look at Psalms 23.

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” 

When Jesus is our shepherd and our guide, the only thing that really brings satisfaction is Him, and if we are satisfied in Him, the rest of the things in this present world really fall short. Look where He takes us:

“He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.”

HE RESTORES OUR SOULS! How many of us truly need that to happen? I know I doAnd when our souls are restored and satisfied in HIM, we begin to walk on paths of righteousness. In other words, we begin to follow the right standards. We live this life as it was intended to be lived.

Following Jesus and making him our foundation just makes sense. He brings a peace that lasts. He brings true satisfaction in a world that is longing for something authentic.

A Response to Heretical Preaching

A Response to Heretical Preaching

A couple of days ago I was sent a sermon by a friend and was asked what I thought of it.  It was from a demonization that has had a lot of upheaval in the past decade.  Nevertheless, I watched about 10 minutes of this message.  That’s all I could stomach.

In 10 minutes this “pastor” was able to tell adults in the congregation that children have a better grasp of morality than they do. That the morality of 60 years ago has vastly changed from the morality of today and hurt feelings is a bigger sin than sexual sin. He also eluded to the idea that only certain sections of the Bible is truly inspired, and the rest is just the interpretation of men.

This pastor spent the 10 minutes that I watched, talking about how important polls were.  He gave them more credence than Scripture itself.

And to top this all off, he went through the percentages of their church, and out of 17,000 active members in their church, 742 of them lived in a homosexual lifestyle of some sort.  There was no data for how many were living in heterosexual sin outside the confines of marriage.

I finally had to turn off this broadcast.  My heart was so full of anger and sadness all at the same time that I could not handle it. My whole attitude changed because of this.

This “church” spits in the face of the commands of God.  It made a mockery of the Scriptures, and the thing that hurt the most is that tens of thousands of people are blindly following this church’s teaching with no thought for truth. As a result, they very well could be headed straight to the pit of hell.

Here is why this is happening.

PARENTS:  You are not leading your families well.  More particularly, MEN, you’ve neglected your responsibility so, therefore, you’ve allowed wolves to creep in and take captive your families.  We need our men to move back into the role of spiritual leadership.   Yes I’m talking to you and me both! We’ve got to stop!  Stop focusing on so many other things. Your kids are right in front of you. Here is the best place for me to start!

LEAD THEM!  Be the servant who will give up your life for them.

PRAY WITH THEM! Take time each day to pray over them.  To pray for them! They need it.

TALK MORE. Our mobile phones are going to be the death of us!  I know. I’m guilty. Just ask my kids. They want to talk more, and there will come a time when they won’t want to talk. What’s wrong with me!

GET IN THE WORD MORE!  My tribe needs me to be in God’s Word more! They need to see me in it. I need to lead by example.

BE MORE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHURCH!  What is happening at your church is going to matter in 10,000 years, either way. Good or bad. And if you’re involved, you can help make sure it’s good stuff that is happening at your church!  Be PRESENT!

My prayer is that my heart changes! I need Jesus more than I need anything else! I really need to be focused on things that are eternal.
I am my biggest problem!  You are your biggest problem! We need to stop focusing on me and start focusing on Jesus and what HE WANTS!

God help me!