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There are a lot of interesting things going on lately [awkward pause to drink some water] …so lets get started!

I’m not trying to get political, but did you see the response to the State of the Union address? That guy really came out swinging!

Things are crazy in DC, we just found out the US Post Office is coming out with a line of clothing. It’s fashion for people who are always on the slow.

I can’t wait for other government offices to come out with their own clothing designs. Next year the Hollywood red carpet question will change from “Who are you wearing? to “Hey, that’s my stuff!”

Speaking of the government, Washington is launching an investigation into that cruise ship disaster. So glad nobody was hurt, but it looks like Congress wants to see what they can do. If anyone knows about sinking ships, it’s the folks in DC.

You really can sue a ham sandwich?

Two New Jersey men are suing Subway sandwich shops saying their famous footling subs are not actually 12 inches long. I’m not sure if these guys are trying to be Heroes, or just they just have an ax in the Grinder.

They may be disappointed when they learn that Burger King & Dairy Queen are not of noble birth and that Chuck E. Cheese doesn’t really have middle name.