When I think back to my past dating relationships, before I married my best friend, I can remember thinking “how far is too far?” Yes, I am talking about sex and the sexual or physical relationships we have with our boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancés.
Let’s face it, most want to take the physical side of our dating/engaged relationships as far as possible, and I would advise against doing so. Many go through what I did, spending a great deal of time wondering where the line was drawn.
We hear opinions from everyone, everywhere and this can be a very touchy subject. Even though the Bible does not clearly state rules and regulations of a dating relationship, I do believe the Bible is very clear how far is “too far.”
There are two kinds of human relationships: 1.The married relationship. 2. The non-married relationship
1. For those of us who are married, sex and a physical relationship, with our spouse, are good. God designed sex for husbands and wives (Proverbs 5:19). For now, that’s all I’m going to say about the married relationship. But let’s be very clear, sex is for spouses in a marriage ONLY.
2. I want to focus on those who are not married. This includes everyone who is single, dating or engaged. We live in a sex-obsessed world. You can’t turn on the TV, surf the web, or drive down the road without seeing an advertisement that has some kind of sexual message.
1 Corinthians tells us to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18). I think it is very important to understand what the scripture is telling us here. Paul uses the same language in 1 Corinthians 10:14, “flee from idolatry.” I want you to picture something. If we were told that our county is going to be attacked and we need to flee, what would you do? You would flee. You would get as far away from the county as possible. You do not want to be anywhere close to an attack. This is the same thing Paul is telling us in 1 Corinthians. We need to get as far from sexual immorality as we can!
So what about touching or kissing? Let me put it like this, touching or kissing in a passionate way should be completely avoided. Whether you want to admit it or not, this leads to sex, either physically or mentally, and both are sin (Matt. 5:28).
If you are in a dating relationship with someone, the two of you are simply brother and sister in Christ, and you need to treat each other as such. The Bible tell us not to tempt or cause your brother or sister to stumble (Rom. 14:13b), and the best way to do this is to avoid sexual touching and kissing all together.
When it comes to being physical, think of your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancé as a brother or sister. Don’t do anything with them you would not do with a brother or sister.
I am well aware that this seems harsh and over the top, but take it from me, I waited to have a sexual relationship until after I was married, and it was more than worth it. We have a tendency to try to get as close to sin without crossing the line as we can, and that is simply not what Christians should be doing. We should flee from evil!