Book Review: Rite of Passage Parenting
Something is radically wrong with our kids. School shootings, poor tests scores, lack of motivation, anger, drugs, sex and vulgarity. According to author, Walker Moore, “America’s youth culture is spiraling downward as never before.”
I believe every parent needs to read this book! Walker Moore is an internationally-known youth culture expert, author, and speaker with more than 30 years of experience. He integrates humor, wisdom, and experience along with his own personal family’s journey to help parents with tools to develop “capable, responsible, self-reliant children.” In Rite of Passage Parenting, Moore outlines four essential experiences to equip kids for life:
1. Rite Of Passage: Moore points out that each child has a deep desire to grow up. In our culture, adolescent responsibilities are delayed as long as possible, there are low expectations and a lack of consequences for failure to meet what few expectations exist. This contributes to a state of confusion in teenagers resulting in kids choosing their own rites of passage to prove they are grown up. Unfortunately, their choices are getting them into trouble. Moore suggests a rite of passage parenting process involving five marks of maturity that moves children into adulthood.
2. Significant Tasks: Kids today desperately need tasks – special assignments to demonstrate their worth. Moore points out that, “The loss of significant tasks has left kids lacking in knowledge and skills for responsible living.” Children should be given tasks that gradually increase in significance so that they will be prepared to accept God’s bigger purpose for their lives.
3. Logical Consequences: Kids must experience logical consequences to their actions in order to learn to make wise choices based on right values. Walker addresses four issues here: Language (profanity), possessions (materialism), finances (entitlement, lack of work ethic), and sexuality (promiscuity, loss of innocence). Moore recommends the use of contracts/testaments – written documents outlining an action with a right value along with the logical consequence if that action is not met.
4. Grace Deposits: Moore points out that it takes 49% law and 51% grace to raise a child. Grace deposits of statements and actions that build up a child’s worth are essential. Deposits into a child’s inner spiritual account will affirm them. Grace deposits can bring the rebellious child back under the parents’ authority. The very important role of the grandparent is discussed throughout the book. Grandparents are to build worth and value into their lives of their grandchildren.
In Rite of Passage Parenting, Moore not only identifies key cultural issues, but also offers an explanation as to why they exist along with very practical solutions. He suggests viewing a child’s life as a building project with the parent as the contractor. Parents are responsible for “character construction.” Kids today have a myriad of subcontractors with differing and destructive values and beliefs influencing them. By laying the foundation of right values and then adding right beliefs, the result will be a capable, responsible, self-reliant adults. Rite of Passage Parenting can be purchased at www.awestar.org.