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Thanksgiving — that great American holiday, brings families and friends together each year who may not otherwise get together. Most Americans can relax, and be grateful to God for the food and fellowship. But what happens when controversial topics come up?

These topics are sometimes personal, like whether you approve or disapprove of the new tattoo that “Aunt Sally” got. Most often, the controversial topics are more general about areas of life over which we have little direct control on a daily basis, such as sports or politics.

If “conversation is the spice of life,” I want to remind us—myself included—of these words of wisdom that come from the Bible to keep a balanced blend of “spices.”

1. Be kind.


“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Eph. 4:32

Any person can be nice, but very few are truly kind. When you come to points of disagreement, maintain an attitude of noticeable kindness.

2. Don’t pick unnecessary fights.


“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Rom. 12:18

When it comes to being faithful witnesses, Christians often have to speak up in uncomfortable moments. Yet as Believers, go out of your way to avoid divisive fights that are not necessary.

3. Don’t be afraid to lose


“Show family affection to one another with brotherly love. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Rom. 12:10

Love does not have to win every argument but does seek to win every person. Love knows when to speak and when to listen, as well as how to honor others.

4. Be Christlike


“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us (and we beheld his glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father), full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

Jesus is perfect in every way and that includes speech. We ought to exemplify His gracious and truth-filled speech. If asked your opinion on a topic, don’t forget to leave out truth and don’t forget to be gracious.

So this Thanksgiving, when others are gearing up for a rowdy family gathering, keep in mind these Bible verses with your table talk. That, in the end, may be the most winning argument of all.