The Ricky she had, and the Ricky she wanted
Lucille Ball – an amazing comedian, a beautiful woman, an extremely talented actress, and one of my favorites. I just finished watching all the I Love Lucy seasons, all of which I own, for the fourth or fifth time in my life.
What can I say, I love I Love Lucy! The more I watched it the more curious I got of why (in real life) Desi, aka Ricky on TV, and Lucy divorced. Their marriage was so perfect! Between European vacations, cruises, road trips across the country, and an adorable son, how could they possibly not get along? Or maybe that’s not the reality of it all…
The true reality was that Lucy and Desi had a horrible relationship. Desi was a rampant playboy, and Lucy was a tunneled vision businesswoman. Their relationship was rocky from the start. As Lucy started the process of I Love Lucy, her one condition with the studio was for Desi to be cast as her husband in the show. This was one of her ways to keep Desi home from his band’s travels and shenanigans.
This recently made me realize something very interesting. Lucy really had two husbands. There was the Ricky she wanted and the Desi she had.
There was the perfectly-scripted, funny, sweet, and giving Ricky. Ricky loved and provided for his family. He always had time for Lucy, played catch with his son, and was always up to staying home and spending time with friends.
Then there was the unscripted, rude, and absent Desi. He didn’t make time for his family. He ran around town shamelessly escorting other women. His friends were far from the Mertz’s company.
Lucy had the seemingly ideal situation. What she did not have, she made. Though she did not have the husband she wanted, she could write it in the script. Desi may never reach her expectations, but Ricky will every time (and in under 30 minutes!).
Sometimes we treat our God like this. When God doesn’t show up in the way we want or expect, we take over and write our own show. This, of course, is so wrong.
When we treat God like someone we can script or predict we lose so much. There are three crucial things we lose in that instance.
- Our Real Reality. In reality, God is in control, whether we acknowledge it or not. When we deal with lost expectations that we had for God by “taking control,” we enter the fabricated world of self-sovereignty. Bottom line: God is sovereign, and we are not.
- Our Peace. If we were to recount all the times we felt God’s control in our lives, we would remember the peace we had in that knowledge. Again, when we feel that loss of something expected or experience a change in plans, and we react by “writing our own script,” we will lose that peace. The only lasting peace that passes all understanding is found alone in the Holy Director, Writer, and Producer of Life.
- Our Blessed Calling. We are called to servant hood. To obey and trust the Lord’s plan and participate in his work, whatever that looks like for the individual. By calling our own shots, we become our own masters, forsaking the sacred call to lay down our man-made crowns.
It was said that, later in life, Lucy and Desi reunited as friends. This, more than likely, was sort of a publicity stunt to encourage the I Love Lucy fans.
Precious Child of God, how wonderful to know that we need not “re-enter” God’s will with past malice or fear of abandonment. Unlike Lucy and Desi, we have the gift of reconciliation on unconditional terms. The Most High Director has had his share of diva cast members and is more than prepared to accept them with his perfect script.
As you deal with change in plans or disappointment, cling to the Rock rather than fabricating your own. God is on His Director’s chair putting it all together. Be patient and obey, Beloved.