A Dating Guide for Godly Girls: (#2) Realistic and Fair Expectations
Tip #2: Be realistic and fair in your expectations. As a princess, a daughter of the King of Kings, you deserve a grounded, dependable, strong husband who truly loves Jesus (see A Dating Guide for Godly Girls #1) and will make the meeting of your needs a priority, someone who will lead you gently, forgive you readily, and wash you with the Word of God as you become the woman God wants you to be, a Kingdom force to be reckoned with, unhindered by concern over a marriage that is less than God intended for you.
You’ve heard it all before, right?
Yeah, in Christian circles, we do a pretty good job of making sure women know this stuff, but I’m not sure we do an equally good job of telling them what their future husbands should expect in return.
As a prince, a son of the King of Kings, your future husband—if God plans for you to have one—deserves a grounded, dependable, strong woman who truly loves Jesus and will make the meeting of his needs a priority, someone who will submit to him as he submits to her (Eph. 5:21), forgive him readily, and speak the truth of God into his life at every turn so he doesn’t forget who he was created to be, a Kingdom force to be reckoned with, unhindered by concern over a marriage that is less than God intended for him.
It’s a tall order, isn’t it? A lot to expect from anyone this side of Heaven, the only place where perfection actually exists, but especially from someone who hasn’t lived a lot of life yet.
Achieved only through the intentional application of Scripture with the help of the Holy Spirit in response to circumstances that can’t possibly be conjured or rushed, spiritual maturity takes time. No one gets there overnight, ladies, which is why you must cut the guys a little slack, at least as much as you yourself require.
Look for progress, not perfection. Few men are the spiritual leaders they are meant to be when they first get married. I know mine wasn’t, but he sure is now.
Want to determine whether or not you should allow a relationship with the man you’ve noticed to develop? Pay close attention to what he says, what he does and his attitude when saying and doing those things, not just when he knows he’s being evaluated, but in moments when his words and actions don’t have anything to do with you or your relationship.
Do his words reflect a commitment to the truth of God’s Word? Such men are grounded.
Do his actions reflect a desire to be used by God? Such men are dependable.
Is he humble, open to correction by those qualified to give it, quick to apologize and eager to learn from his mistakes and grow? Such men are strong.
Is he more worried about preserving self or advancing the Kingdom? Those more concerned with the Kingdom understand sacrifice and commitment.
Plot your answers.
Draw an arrow through them.
Chart the trajectory your guy is on and see if it matches up with yours. If you love Jesus and it does, then you’ve found a relationship with potential. If he loves Jesus and it doesn’t, then you’re the one with work to do.