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It’s easy to take our spouses for granted.  It’s easy to pick apart flaws in the person you married. For some reason, this inclination comes naturally to us.  It’s difficult to praise our spouses. For some reason, it’s hard for us to see the good and focus on that good over the bad.

Bottom line, it’s because of sin, which has fractured everything in our world.  However, that is not an excuse that we should snuggle up to in hopes of being proven right. We have to make war on our sinful nature. We have to rise above what comes naturally to us.

So I listed three different ways we can see the best in our spouses, three ways we can change our marriages.

1. When your spouse messes up (and they will) be ready to show the kind of Grace that has been extended to you by Jesus Christ.

“Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:36).

I want you to honestly think about this for a moment. How often does Jesus forgive you? And how many times has He stepped into our timeline and forgiven us more than once for the same exact thing? Since Christ has been willing to forgive us, we need to be willing to forgive one another. Even if we mess up.

2. When we have the desire to use our words to tear down, make the choice speak life into our spouse’s life.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” (Prov. 18:21).

Words are so powerful.  The right words have the ability to take us to heights unknown, and the wrong words have the ability to drag us down into the depths of sorrow and anxiety. When you have the desire to retaliate or speak harshly, count to 20 before you say anything.  It just might change the whole situation.

3. Look for ways to outdo one another in showing honor and love to one another.

Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Rom. 12:10).

Look for ways that will build up your spouse every day. Find ways to show them honor. Figure out what makes them come alive and then show that off to them.  We all know our spouses and what they love.  Do the things they love and do them with no strings attached.

When we walk these three simple ideas out in our marriages we’d see far less divorce and far more extravagant people walking on the planet.  These ideas just might transform the world!

Let’s start doing this today!