by Emily Howsden | Jan 30, 2017
I spent this past weekend with my church’s youth group for United Weekend, or DNOW. If you don’t know what DNOW is, it is a weekend that people within the church open up their homes for groups within the youth group to stay with, jam packed full of fun activities and times of worship shared with other youth groups from around the city.
I was a sponsor to the ninth grade girls group with a friend of mine. We had six girls, which at times seemed like a lot more.
I went into the weekend slightly apprehensive, having never been a sponsor for a DNOW weekend. But it was an incredible experience. I am coming away from the weekend feeling like I learned a lot from the girls, here’s how:
- I became more self-aware.
Being around teenagers can do that to you, right? I began to examine everything I was doing in order to make sure I was doing what I could, so the girls could at all times know they are loved, valued in a positive, life-giving environment.
I began to examine the music we listened to, going from point A to point B. Normal country songs that I listen to without hesitation; I was hesitant to play over speakers of my car.
I was extremely intentional with conversations by making sure I had fully listened and paused for longer than I would usually be comfortable before responding. I did these things so the girls would know that I was listening, what they have to say matters (no matter how silly), and I thought about the weight of each word that came out of my mouth. My brain took no breaks!
- I gave up my time.
I have never regretting giving up my time to invest in lives of younger generations.
Maybe it was when the girls were racing to my car to see who would sit shotgun. Maybe it was the nine-year-old girls at my host home giggling on Sunday morning as they enjoyed each others company. Maybe it was the incredible feeling after seeing these girls lean on each other and raise their voices to our Creator, but I didn’t regret one second of my time spent with these girls.
Until Friday, I had never met some of them, but I am grateful for each of them and how the Lord has handcrafted them to be His kingdom workers.
They are so worth giving up a Saturday morning in bed. I encourage you to spend time around your church’s youth group. It made me feel younger, it made me feel old and, if nothing else, is quality, cheap entertainment.
- I was relatively unplugged.
I was aware that I had a limited amount of time with these girls and that I had been trusted with six precious gifts that I had the privilege to invest in over the weekend.
This meant the large amounts of time that I spend scrolling through timelines was going to have to go!
The funny thing is, I didn’t even realize I was doing it until Sunday afternoon when I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline, littered with negativity and things of this world. Here I was, exhausted and recovering from a sickness that has been bugging me for the last week or so, and what I was consuming wasn’t doing anything to make me feel better.
I needed rest. I needed a break. I needed to unplug. I am going to make a point of doing this from now on. It was completely edifying and cleansing.
Again, I cannot stress the importance of the verse 1 Timothy 4:12, “ Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.”
The girls set an example of how to love, and they set an example in a non-conventional way by making me examine myself by just being in their presence.
by Emily Howsden | Jan 23, 2017
The grass is always greener on the other side. We’ve heard this phrase many times in our lifetimes, but do we stop and consider the truth it speaks?
For some, the first thing they do in the morning is scroll through their social media newsfeed. There you can find the good, the bad and the ugly. But most likely, you will find copious amounts of the good.
It is true that people have become more transparent with their social media content, airing their dirty laundry, so-to-speak. But the facts remain that most of what we see on social media is a highlight reel of other people’s lives.
Scrolling through our different news feeds, we subconsciously compare our lives to the lives of others.
“Wow that girl has lost so much weight, she has her life way more in order than I do.”
“She cooked a three-course meal for her family. I barely have time to run through the drive-through for mine.”
“That guy from high school just landed an amazing job. What am I doing so wrong that I don’t have a great job like him?”
These are just few examples of questions we might ask ourselves after consuming social media from many different outlets.
For some, they feel handicapped by their own inadequacy according to what they see online. For that person, who often has been me as well, there is Good News.
Throughout the Bible the Lord tells us where our worth is found — in Him.
1 Peter 1:18-19 says, “For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect.”
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”
And Romans 12:3 offers this humbling warning when concerning how we think of ourselves, “For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.”
After you’ve gone to Scripture and prayed about how you’re feeling, I encourage you to step away from your social media accounts for a couple of days, a week or so, if you can stand it.
During this time, think about where the Lord has you right now. He has intentionally placed you where you are. There are no accidents when the Lord is involved.
This is something I’ve focused on accepting. There are no accidents; there is no luck when the Lord is present. He works all things together for our good (Rom. 8:28).
Once you return from your hiatus, if you choose to, look at your news feeds with fresh eyes. And on bad days, just put it down and step away.
Those who post the bad, say a quick prayer for them. Those who post the good, thank the Lord for the good He’s done in your “friend’s” life. They are technically your “friend” after all!
Just as 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.“
by Emily Howsden | Jan 16, 2017
Have you noticed a cultural shift when it comes to living arrangements in relationships?
I don’t have to look far to find an unmarried friend or acquaintance who lives with their significant other. It used to be shameful to cohabitate before marriage. However, now it is socially acceptable and even encouraged.
In an article by the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission, Brian Owen points out reasons why cohabitation has become common including the attack on marriage, the delay of marriage, the cultural normalization of cohabitation, the cultural normalization of sexual activity outside of marriage, the rite of passage into marriage and prioritizing financial stability.
As I read this article, it became entirely clear to me that it isn’t just Millennials who have shifted their standards, but our culture as a whole.
Young and older couples, Christians and non-Christians alike are turning to living together before marriage, and if you ask me, the above mentioned reasons are spot on.
My generation has grown up seeing failed marriages and divorce as a normal part of our lives. In order for new generations to hold ourselves to higher standards, better examples need to be set for those generations as they grow up. You say you don’t believe in the “monkey see, monkey do” theory? I beg to differ.
Rather than mess with the lawyers and messy details of a divorce, couples just decided to move in together, and that solves that problem, right? Wrong. Engaging in marital behavior without the commitment to each other and the Lord is dangerous behavior, and in the end does no sparing of the emotional warfare that almost inevitably happens. The Bible says:
“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
This passage is found many times throughout Scripture in Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Mark 10:7 again in Ephesians 5:31. When the Lord repeats things in Scripture, it is for a reason, He is adamant.
The delay of marriage is another reason couples are choosing cohabitation. “You have your whole life to be married,” is what people say to justify the delay. I have never understood this mentality. While my husband and I were dating, I hated the many goodbyes that were given. I didn’t want to spend another second not being his wife, so why delay promising our lives to each other, but go ahead and move in together? It’s not logical.
Cohabitation has become such a cultural norm, it’s even celebrated at times. On the popular sitcom, Friends, there is an episode where one of the characters proposes as one would propose marriage, but instead he is asking the woman to live with him. The proposal is met with audience applause. This is one way that our culture has fed the idea that cohabitation is acceptable.
This is met with the cultural acceptance of sexual activity before marriage. Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father.”
The verse says WHATEVER you do. As Christians, we are called to be more, to hold ourselves to a higher standard and that starts at home, especially with whom we live.
We are not called to be the spiritual police to others in ways that will only further drive non-believers away from Christ, but with love and by example we can help share why the Lord calls us to abstain from cohabitation before marriage.
by Emily Howsden | Jan 9, 2017
You may have seen a video recently circulating the internet. Simon Sinek, an intellectual British/American author, speaker and consultant, sits down to discuss working with Millennials.
This talk had many valid points, but what I couldn’t help but think throughout the entire 15 minute video is why do older generations think Millennials are such a complex mystery?
As a Millennial in the workplace, I’ve tried to put myself in the shoes of the stereotypical Millennial that Sinek was describing.
Do I make my superiors stand by in wonder? Do they scratch their heads at my behavior and wonder what kind of world in which I was raised? Is my workplace behavior unacceptable?
I would like to think not. However, judging by the number of people who shared the post on Facebook and applauded the points made, somewhere people are not understanding Millennials and how we function.
So, I’m going to attempt to explain how I think about some of the things that were discussed in the video.
One thing that stuck out to me was when Sinek said that Millennials were “dealt a bad hand” in the parental department.
This statement couldn’t be further from the truth when it comes to my parents. However, I know people my age whose parents have severely handicapped them by enabling and making excuses for them their whole lives.
In the cases I know, 90 percent of the time it is out of love that parents have done this to their child. They truly don’t seem to realize that what they are doing will, in the long run, hurt rather than push their child towards success.
I still have a really hard time saying this is 100 percent the parent’s fault. The Lord created us all with the ability to make our own decisions, good or bad.
I know many people who were truly dealt a bad hand in the parental department in the way that their parents had substance abuse problems, or just were never there.
Those same people have become incredibly successful, sometimes in spite of their parents. So, am I supposed to believe that a child who has been loved TOO much, is not at fault for how they act as an adult?
Looking back at my childhood, I remember a verse my mother used to quote whenever I would begrudgingly do a chore or not do a chore that I was told.
“…The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat” (2 Thess. 3:10).
That is how I was raised, and I will forever be incredibly grateful that my parents chose to instill Scripture into me throughout my life.
But what about the Millennial who is continuously on their phone and seems like they would rather be anywhere else? I have a couple of suggestions:
1. Don’t look at them as if they are some mysterious being. Remember when you were young? Yes, times are incredibly different, but the overall makeup of a 20-something is still the same, if you ask me. Try to be understanding; most of us are just trying to figure out being a “grown-up.”
2. Choose to find a common ground. Of course, you will have many differences, perhaps too many to count. One thing you can do is try to find something you have in common and go from there with a colleague relationship. You might be surprised at how much you have in common.
3. 1 Tim. 4:12 says, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” Don’t be the one who’s looking down on someone younger. It can be hard; I know this. I am only 24, and thoughts like these have crossed my mind about those younger than I. DON’T DO IT!
I hope this helps tackle some of the mystery that are Millennials. I challenge you to not let the age of a younger co-worker make you think of or treat them differently.
Be gracious, be kind and love others and let age just be a number. Could that be the most Millennial thing I’ve said all day? Most likely, but I stand by it.
by Emily Howsden | Dec 26, 2016
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the tattoo craze is one that is sweeping the globe. It’s not just popular among millennials, but we are major participants.
What is the big deal with tattoos? I was discussing with my mom this issue, and she couldn’t understand taking “what is usually beautiful skin and mark it permanently.”
I know some who would say they are only making their skin more beautiful by adding tattoos. Others, like my parents, would disagree.
I don’t have all the answers, so I will attempt to answer this burning question without going one way or the other, in favor or opposing tattoos.
Leviticus 19:28 says “You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.“
The Lord says this because these were practices of the Canaanites at the time, and holiness requires Israel (and Christians) not to act like pagans in any areas of life.
As a Christian, I agree we are to act differently than pagans or non-believers would act. However, there are also parts of the Bible that say to not pierce your ears or braid your hair, both things I have done.
At many times throughout the history of mankind, tattoos, piercings or other markings were used to identify one person as property or a slave of another person. I fully believe during these times the Lord was in anguish over the pain and suffering and sin mankind was committing against itself.
For those reasons, I agree with my mom’s notion. Why would anyone ever willingly offer up their body to be permanently changed? Others say they prefer to not subject themselves to unnecessary pain.
I hear all those viewpoints and think they are valid. BUT (you had to know it was coming) in my millennial mind, tattoos aren’t as bad as they used to be.
According to someone older than myself, tattoos used to be something you see on a hardened criminal or just a rough-looking person.
To that perspective, I say take a look around you on a Sunday morning at church. You will see many tattoos, and a lot of them might be of a Scripture or something positive. Tattoos aren’t all skulls and crossbones anymore.
I have a close friend with a large cross on his forearm, and he claims that his tattoo has sparked many conversations about the Lord that never would have begun without his tattoo as a bit of an icebreaker.
I know many other people who have tattoos, and that is the case for them. I also know those who regret a tattoo that was gotten on a whim and wish more than anything they could remove it from their body and memory all together.
My thoughts on tattoos, as a Millennial, are a bit grey rather than black and white. Spoken like a true Millennial right?
I think if a tattoo will hinder your walk as a Christian and influence on others then the obvious answer or whether to get one or not is a big “No” from me.
I also think that, as a Christian, you should pray about this choice before you make it. It’s a big one! If after prayer and thoughtfully considering any and all consequences of getting a tattoo you still want one, then go for it.
Just remember, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of a God – even as I try to please everyone in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved” (1 Cor. 10:31-33).
