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Suicide Epidemic in Post-War America

Suicide Epidemic in Post-War America

In the past year, studies reveal that approximately 22 former soldiers are committing suicide each day in the aftermath of post-war experiences in the Middle East.

Discussions were also fueled in the past year when the movie, “American Sniper” depicted the effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). In 2013, The Guardian reported U.S. military forces were in the midst of a suicide epidemic, citing that 349 service members committed suicide in 2012, compared to 295 who died in combat. To say life after war is more dangerous than life in the midst of battle is alarming. How should the church respond to this recent epidemic? Should the church respond?

Obviously, the church should be aware of PTSD, knowing the signs of PTSD and sharing the Gospel with those in distress. Two years ago, Woman’s Mission Union (WMUã), an auxiliary of the Southern Baptist Convention, adopted PTSD as its critical issue to address in the church. In their efforts to bring about awareness, the issue of PTSD is complicated and goes beyond those who have served our military. This critical issue is sitting in your pews, but how will you respond?

First, understand that anyone who has been affected by a traumatic event can be susceptible to PTSD. Most people relate PTSD to military personnel, but others who might be affected include first responders, victims of a natural disaster, victims of childhood trauma, or victims of sexual abuse.

Second, there is a difference between Post-Traumatic Stress and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD is a diagnosable mental disorder and continues to bring distress for a long period of time. Post-Traumatic Stress is usually short-term, but has many of the same symptoms such as bad dreams, nervousness, or anxiety. To learn more, visit this helpful link.

Third, know the signs of suicidal tendencies. Isolation, aggression, substance abuse, self-harm, depression and other factors contribute to suicidal thoughts. If someone you know expresses suicidal thoughts, find help immediately. Be mindful of young adults taking prescription medications for anxiety and depression. While some find relief with medication, the side affect of increased suicidal thoughts is real.

Finally, most people affected with PTSD need others to walk with them through their journey. It’s easy for believers to want to “fix” people, but how can we learn to “embrace” people? Just as the church needs community with believers, those struggling with PTSD need people who will lend a listening ear and extend the Gospel with grace and love. Consider recovery groups or provide a resource with professional Biblical counselors in your community who can help others. In addition, consider how you help family members of those affected by PTSD. Many times they are the silent sufferers sitting in your Sunday School class or Bible Study.

If you would like additional resources to help you and your church reach out to those with PTSD, visit the WMU website.

May Musings

May Musings

As my blogging deadline looms for this month, it seems like a good time to put all of my random thoughts into one entry:

FAVORITE PODCASTS

I don’t have a long commute to work, but it’s just enough time to catch a good podcast. It makes me wonder if I’m hitting that age when NPR is next on my playlist. In the meantime, here are a few recommendations that you can find easily in the iTunes Store:

Brooklyn Tabernacle and Watermark Community Church. I listen to both of these podcasts regularly for Biblical insight, from Jim Cymbala and Todd Wagner.

Perry Noble Leadership Podcast: Perry can be quite controversial and I don’t always agree with some of the things he says, but he has also recorded a few podcasts I have listened to multiple times. A recent one on “Lessons Learned in the Fire” was very timely for a difficult situation I was facing in ministry.

Breakaway Ministries: Ben Stuart leads this ministry at Texas A&M and I really enjoy his teaching. He recently did a series on Psalms that was outstanding. I’m going to miss this podcast over the summer when they take a break.

The Big Boo Cast: Everyone just needs to listen to a podcast that’s fun and entertaining. Featuring Sophie Hudson and Melanie Shankle, popular mom bloggers, these two dish about all things female. Sophie was the emcee at the 2014 BGCO Women’s retreat and she’s coming back this fall to our Ministry Wives Weekend. If you need a couple of friends in the car, these are the two I would invite.

SEMINARY OBSERVATIONS

I’m about to complete my first semester of seminary. Learning to do online studies at my age and writing papers in Turabian style has been a challenge. I decided this week that following Jesus was much easier when I didn’t have to learn the Hebrew meaning and translation of 1 Kings 19.

CHATBOOKS

This has to be my new obsession! I love taking photos but I hardly ever get them printed. I also love scrapbooking, but just don’t have the time. With the Chatbooks app on your phone, you can create a simple photo book with pictures you’ve posted on Instagram. And the cost is hard to beat–$6 for a 60 page book and free shipping. It’s a deal.

COMPUTER PASSWORDS

I’m horrible at remembering passwords and especially numbers. I don’t want to create a different password for every different website and account I use. Recently, we were told at work that we were going to a new system for passwords. Our computer password must have at least nine characters, an uppercase letter, a number and a symbol. Thanks to our IT guys, they suggested something I want to pass along. Use a favorite scripture! For instance, if you use Psalm63:1 as a password, you’ve used an uppercase letter, number, symbol and nine characters. Boom! (By the way, Psalm63:1 is NOT my password just in case you were hoping to hack into my computer).

Those are the random thoughts for May. Hope you are looking forward to summer and don’t forget to plant some flowers.

5 Life Lessons for Mothers with Young Children

5 Life Lessons for Mothers with Young Children

I got the news last week that a young couple I know is expecting their fifth child under the age of five! Another set of twins are coming unexpectedly after years of infertility and invitro. After being told they had a one in a billion chance of becoming pregnant without medical intervention, these miracle babies are on their way.

To say they are a bit overwhelmed is an understatement. I have to admit I was a bit speechless just comprehending five car seats. My days of little ones are long gone, but the memories remain.

I’m thankful for those who encouraged me through the days of potty training and endless repetitions of Disney movies. Whether you’re the mom of one, two or five, I’d love to help you remember a few things to help you through today. Why? Because you may just be hanging on and wondering if you’ll ever be able to go to the bathroom without a helper following behind.

  1. What you are doing is extremely important. You aren’t training a puppy. You are nurturing and raising a child created in the image of God. When you are discouraged, lonely or just flat-out frustrated, remember motherhood is a wonderful gift. Whether you are staying at home or working outside the home, being a mom is a lot of hard work that our culture doesn’t always applaud. Don’t be discouraged—the days are long but the years are short.
  2. Spending time alone with God is going to look different in this season of life. Remember those times when you spent 30 minutes reading God’s word, journaling your dreams and having an organized prayer list? Yeah, that’s probably not going to happen for awhile. Learn to enjoy the presence of God throughout your day—while you are feeding little people, giving them a bath or rocking them to sleep. Sing praises as you fold clothes or post scriptures in places you frequent (such as the diaper changing area). However this looks for you during this season, adapt to a new “quiet time” and set aside the guilt of not answering every question on your Bible study.
  3. Don’t neglect your husband or yourself. Avoid speaking to him like you speak to your toddler. Engage in conversations beyond how many times you cleaned up cereal off the floor. Find time to take a shower and put on a little make-up. You’ll feel better and he’ll be reminded that you care about him. Don’t ask him to “watch” the kids like he is a babysitter. This is a partnership and his involvement is vital. Learn to appreciate his help—even when he does things differently than you do.
  4. Don’t neglect friendships. This is tough. It’s likely you have friends who are also in the trenches of laundry, but get creative and find ways to enjoy one another. Create a play group of friends with other little ones. Make it simple. Having a picnic in the backyard with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches might be a memory your children will cherish! Would you believe my children are 23 and 20, and once a year we still get the “play group” families together at Christmas? I can’t imagine going through the diaper days without these friends.
  5. Avoid the comparison game or judging others for the way they choose to parent. Just because someone has a clean house and you’re not sure where your vacuum is currently located, this does not communicate your worth. It’s easy to compare Facebook statuses, Pinterest boards and Instagram posts and believe the lie that you are a failure. Embrace your strengths and give yourself a break. This includes your children. Just because your friend’s daughter is speaking Spanish at the age of two does not mean your child won’t make it into college.

Hang in there. Being a mom is not for wimps, but with the help of the Lord, you can do this. I’m cheering you on.

Would You Let Your Daughter Marry Christian Grey?

Would You Let Your Daughter Marry Christian Grey?

If you’ve been on social media or watched television in the past few weeks, you’ve noticed a lot of attention about the upcoming movie, “50 Shades of Grey.” It opens in theaters this weekend, and you can find passionate opinions about whether to see the movie or not. I made my position known last August when the preview was released. You can read my thoughts here.

I don’t have a lot to add to the conversation. Many people have blogged and articulated my feelings toward the movie. But I can’t dismiss the image of my 20-year-old daughter.

If you have a daughter, you understand. As a mom, I look forward to the day she walks down an aisle and commits her life to a man in covenant marriage. Throughout her teen and college years, we’ve had many conversations about standards and expectations of boys. I don’t think Christian Grey would meet those expectations.

If you’re planning to see the movie, or your daughter is planning to see it, consider the type of man you envision for her life.

  1. I want my daughter to marry someone who will respect her as a woman. I want him to respect her body, her spirit and her soul. There is no respect for a man who is selfish, domineering and abusive. There is no respect for a man who physically hurts a woman for his sexual desires.
  2. I want my daughter to marry someone who is loyal, sincere and has a strong work ethic. There is no respect for a man who uses his position for power and sex.
  3. I want my daughter to marry someone who values her mind and her passion for Christ. There is no respect for a man who disregards purity or manipulates her feelings.
  4. I want my daughter to marry a man who understands commitment, both relationally and spiritually. There is no respect for a man who encourages sinful behavior and violates God’s design for physical intimacy.

I want my daughter to marry a man who displays 1 Corinthians 13. “Love is patient, love is kind; loves does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way.”

Love is not Grey.

For an allternative to “50 Shades of Grey”, I encourage you to see another movie called “Old Fashioned”. It also opens this weekend in selected theaters.

Did Angelina Break ‘Unbroken’?

Did Angelina Break ‘Unbroken’?

Many people have an opinion about the recent movie release of “Unbroken” — the movie depicting Louis Zamperini’s life and directed by Angelina Jolie. Many people I know have disliked the way it ended, saying it didn’t depict the former POW’s conversion to Christ.

Honestly, I didn’t think Jolie got it wrong. I actually went to the movie after reading the book and had a preconceived attitude that she “broke” the story and didn’t get it right. Sure, Louis’ relationship with Christ is pivotal, but there were plenty of ways his spiritual journey was told. Here are just a few observations from a casual movie-goer:

I went to the movie with family members who are not Christ-followers. They wouldn’t have seen the movie if it had been advertised as a “Christian movie.” Instead, the movie provided interesting conversation I hope will continue. Scenes where Louis prays at sea or when he finds his friend Phil praying on the beach are pivotal moments which help tell the story of God pursuing him.

The book is always better. I would definitely encourage anyone who saw the movie but didn’t read the book to grab a copy. It’s inspiring. And if you think the time at sea or time as a POW gets long in the movie, just read the book. I thought the war would never end. (the movie actually spares viewers from a lot of the atrocities of war).

I understood my own heritage a lot more after reading the book and watching the movie. You see, my step-grandfather served in the South Pacific. I can still remember his disdain when I bought my first Honda. He couldn’t believe I would buy a product from Japan because he hated the Japanese so much . My grandfather married my widowed grandmother when he returned from the war. He also got three bonus boys with the marriage, the youngest being my father.

I never heard my grandpa talk much about the war until later in his life when it finally became a source of pride. Mostly, I think he tried hiding the pain, much like those who returned home. He also became a Christ-follower after the war, and I saw him grow greatly in his faith–especially in his latter years.

I love what my film-making friend, Derek Watson, said last year when I heard him speak. He told the audience that every good film is a Gospel story, whether you see it or not. A good story always displays the brokenness of our world and the need for redemption. “Unbroken” definitely showed the depravity of man and how each person’s life has purpose, no matter how many days they are given. I’m glad God gave Louie the opportunity to experience salvation and forgiveness. May we all use his story to tell His story. More importantly, may our lives reflect His story because we have been offered the same grace and forgiveness.

Photo credit: Universal Studios