by Caleb Moore | Jan 9, 2019
Study after study is revealing what we already know. Social media is having a devastating effect on our children.
It is not just the time it takes up or the fact that many kids are waking up to check their phones in the middle of the night, making their quality of sleep worse. No, the real problem is the depression and anxiety it causes.
At first, we had no idea what this type of connectivity would cause. We could see some productivity issues in adults, but we were clueless as to how destructive it would be to minds that are still developing.
But now we know, and something must be done about it. It is too hazardous to just look the other way and assume that it doesn’t apply to your children.
The negative effects of social media hit girls the hardest. Boys with smartphones are much more likely to abuse them by excessively playing video games or accessing pornography, which is equally as destructive, but these dangers are more recognizable. Girls, however, are using social media platforms that are widely accepted without being aware of the damaging consequences.
Since 2009, there has been a 62 percent increase in girls age 15-19 cutting themselves to the point of needing hospitalization. When I was a youth pastor, this epidemic was just beginning, and I had several girls who seemed otherwise healthy who cut themselves on a regular basis.
This self-harming is an early indicator that the person is suffering from severe depression and anxiety. This may seem horrifying, but it’s even worse for preteen girls. Their self-harm rate has increased by 189 percent. This younger group typically had a fairly low rate of self-harm, but it has more than tripled in just the last five years.
Why is it so damaging? There are lots of reasons, from self-image issues to bullying. Boys tend to be physically aggressive, whereas girls are socially aggressive, and social media has given them the ability to destroy another person with a single angry post.
There is also the image issues it can cause. You may have seen a girl take 20 selfies, trying to get just the right light and right angle. Then those photos get edited, and hashtags added that make their lives seem far greater than they actually are. This type of double life can easily lead to a person feeling like a fake, creating a deep sense of loneliness.
What can a parent do to protect the child God has blessed them with? The experts recommend that kids should have no social media accounts until they are in high school, and once they do have accounts, any phone or laptop be removed from their room at least one hour before bedtime.
These may seem like extreme measures, and you can expect them to protest, but as the evidence continues to pour in, we have a duty to protect our kids from things that show a great ability to cause emotional and perhaps even physical harm.
All the data listed in this post was taken from the book The Coddling of the American Mind by Lukinoff & Haidt.
by Ryan Smith | Jan 8, 2019
I wade into this territory delicately for two reasons.
One, I am a man. As a man, I recognize my experiences and perspectives are likely different from the majority of those reading this article. I ask in advance for grace regarding any unperceived lines I may cross. Second, I recognize this topic is highly personal and ingrained deeply in the conscious of my sisters in Christ. I hope to provide encouragement and peace – not anxiety. That being said, here we go:
Ladies, don’t be afraid to grow old.
As I consider the mass marketing strategies and walk past aisle after aisle of beauty “correction” products, I can’t help but feel a degree of hurt for my sisters in Christ. From an outside perspective, it seems much of what is daily put before you is a standard and expectation of physical appearance that can only be daunting to strive for.
Beyond that, it seems you are being continually pushed toward a fountain of youth that not only is a mirage, but seeks to orient you toward reversing the effects of age – a tide no person can swim against. Time only goes in one direction, and physically, so do we.
I hesitantly admit, it seems the majority of women I love, admire and respect are engaged in battle against a perceived enemy at work in their own bodies. My dear sisters, you must be tired.
If I may ask, who told you your wrinkles are wrong?
Who told you the younger, leaner, more colorful version of yourself was better – that it is to be coveted?
Who waters those seeds of discontent in your heart?
Proverbs 31 talks about a woman of true beauty – an ideal – one who fears the Lord. She is marked by unique traits which can be viewed in three categories of life: Relational, Volitional and Physical.
Relationally, she does good to her husband (v. 12), is generous and benevolent to the needy (v. 20), teaches with kindness (v. 26) and, as a result, is praised openly by her trusting husband and children (vv. 11, 28).
Volitionally, she is industrious (vv. 13, 14, 16, 19, 22, 24, 27), works diligently (vv. 15, 18, 27) and, as a result, dwells in security (vv. 21, 25).
Physically, she is strong (v. 17), dignified and joyfully confident (v. 25).
Notice, the physical aspect of the woman who is to be praised is the least mentioned. However, if we were to speculate what such a woman would look like, we might assume a few things:
As one who has children, her body probably bears a few scars, and her hair has likely grayed from weariness.
As one who is generous and benevolent, she probably is not clothed extravagantly or in excess.
As one who works with her hands and travels distances to buy and sell, she likely has some callouses, bunions and travel fatigue.
As one who stays up late and rises early, she probably has bags under her eyes and a functional hairdo.
Her joyful expressions over time result in well-worn wrinkles. Her hours of prayerful concern line her forehead.
She grows older – and she is beautiful.
A woman does not have to be married, have children, own a business, or even be old to be praised. She does not need messy hair, wrinkled crow’s feet and subdued clothing to be beautiful. But she also shouldn’t be afraid of these things.
Taking care of our bodies is important, and we should always present our capable best in whatever circumstance we find ourselves. The Bible has much to say about being a caring steward of our physical person.
But we must always remember that the way we display our bodies tells something to the world about what we believe. If we place the world’s voices, images and standards above God’s, it shows where we genuinely find value. If we continually chase youth, we may resent age, experience and accumulated work.
As a Christian man, when I see women vainly chasing an image of youth, it does not make me admire them – it makes me sad.
Ladies, wherever you are on your journey in life, don’t be ashamed of the path on which God has brought you and the scars that show you were there. Don’t be conformed to the idea that youth is the standard of beauty, but embrace the surpassing beauty of experience, wisdom, relational investment, volitional aptitude and physical strength.
We, your Christian brothers are rooting for you. Grow old with grace and dignity, and you will be truly clothed with beauty and adored by those who call you blessed.
“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” – Proverbs 31:30.
by Emily Howsden | Jan 7, 2019
I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the Cyntoia Brown case out of Tennessee that has gained national attention. Brown was granted clemency (mercy or lenience) on Monday, January 7 after serving 15 years in prison for killing the man who bought her in the human trafficking sex trade.
Brown killed the man when she was just a teen, yet she was tried as an adult and given life in prison that required a minimum of 51 years of service. After her case sparked national outrage, lawmakers in Tennessee revisited the case and treated her like a victim, rather than a perpetrator.
Here I sit, in my office in Oklahoma City. A city that is known for our sports teams, our new streetcar, and being one of the nation’s biggest cross roads for sex trafficking of women and children. But is this a topic we discuss and actively pursue how to bring about change? Sadly, for most Oklahomans, no.
Because of the central locations of Oklahoma in the United States, at the cross roads of Interstate 35, I-40 and I-44, Oklahoma City is a hotbed for one of mankind’s most despicable sins, human trafficking/modern day slavery.
A few reasons why Oklahoma is such a hotbed for human trafficking are: our incarceration rates, leaving children practically orphaned while their parents are in jail; the high-teen pregnancy rate, which feeds into the incarceration rate of parents, the vicious cycle of addiction passed down for generations because of the above mentioned problems and our location.
What can we, as the Church and body of Christ, do to combat these staggering facts? It’s going to take us getting out of our comfort zones, but I think, primarily, discipleship is a way to combat our state’s problem.
Join a mentoring program in which you can be paired up with a child whose parent or parents are incarcerated. These children need guidance and someone to look up to. Be that person for them. One program that has ample resources and ways to connect with prisoners and their families is the mentoring ministry through Prison Fellowship. This ministry is responsible for programs like Angel Tree during Christmas time.
Next, with Oklahoma having one of the highest incarceration rates in the country, I think it is clear what needs to change. People need Jesus. Jesus is the answer to all of our problems. He is the answer to government shut downs; He is the answer to legislation problems; He is the answer to addiction and He is the answer to a heart change that needs to happen among believers today.
Much like Brown was granted clemency, as Christ followers, we should be the first to offer mercy to the struggling and lost world. Share the Good News of healing, restoration, freedom from addiction and freedom from lives of slavery to sin.
Other steps to take to be positive change in our state include being alert and recognizing the signs and watching for behavior that looks out of place or abnormal. Not all indicators are present in every human trafficking situation. However, if you feel someone is in danger, always report it.
For help or to report suspected human trafficking, contact the National Human Trafficking Hotline: 1/888/373-7888 or submit a tip online at www.ice.gov/tips.
I don’t know of her spiritual fate, but I am relieved that Brown was granted clemency and hopeful that the rest of the days of her life here on Earth are free from human trafficking. I am also hopeful that she can proclaim she is forgiven and set free, in more way than one.
Oklahomans, let’s do our part to bring about the winds of change in our state because human trafficking is not “OK.”
by Chris Doyle | Jan 4, 2019
Greetings!
I start 2019 with a DHD that features a couple of articles that reflect good stories and fascinating people from 2018 and things to anticipate in 2019.
Let’s get to it!
- Good stories in 2018
As Joe Carter points out, 2018 did provide a lot of controversies, divisions and tragedies. However, there were a lot of encouraging events that occurred too.
Check out Carter’s list in his article “Ten Good Stories You Might Have Missed in 2018.” I definitely agree with the first story on his list, regarding Andrew Brunson, the American pastor being released from Turkish prison.
It was reported that Brunson will be speaking at the Pastors’ Conference before the Southern Baptist Convention’s Annual Meeting this year. I will be looking forward to that.
- 10 Fascinating Southern Baptists in 2018
I knew Jonathan Howe when he was a student worker in the athletics communications office at the University of Southern Mississippi, where I received my master’s degree.
Jonathan co-hosts a podcast with Amy Whitfield titled “SBC This Week.” In a recent recording, they discuss Amy’s blog on her selection of “10 Most Fascinating Southern Baptists in 2018.”
I appreciate Amy’s list, especially that she reflects a couple of lighthearted moments from last year’s SBC Annual Meeting. She listed nine-year-old Zak McCullar who was a messenger representing his church in Alabama and made a motion that the SBC add a children’s ministry Sunday to the official calendar. Amy also featured Marvin Parker who made a motion to turn adjust the thermostat in the Dallas Convention Center.
I also like Amy adding my friend Felix Cabrera and fellow Oklahoman Scott Pruitt to her list. I definitely agree to Jeff Bingham, interim president at Southwestern Seminary, being included, after hearing him speak at last year’s SBC meeting. He has handled a challenging position in a difficult season extremely well.
- Hopeful sports projections
The Oklahoman put out a list of 19 things fans of the Thunder, Sooners and Cowboy could look forward to happening in 2019.
I’m skeptical whenever I mention the Thunder in my DHD, but I’ll take this chance because I like what Erik Horne said about the Thunder, especially Russ’ shooting to improve and Andre Roberson returning to the lineup.
- Pro-choice myths
The New York Times ran an article on what the paper concluded were threats to abortion rights. National Review’s Alexandra Desanctis does an excellent job dispelling the Times’ piece in her article “Pro-Choice Myths Are Perpetuated in New York Times’ Fetal-Personhood Story.”
The headline is one that my editor would love, but I appreciate Desanctis demonstrating how wrong the Times is with its abortion propaganda.
Something she doesn’t point out that I think needs to be emphasized is the concerns women face with post-abortive issues. Thousands upon thousands of women carry for years the burden of having an abortion. Hope Pregnancy Centers in Oklahoma offer a great Bible study to help women who are afflicted with such grief. The Bible study is titled “Forgiven and Set Free,” and I have heard many women have discovered peace and forgiveness after going through these classes.
If you’d like to know more, visit https://www.obhc.org/HopeEvents for information on training facilitators for the “Forgiven and Set Free” classes.
- Reich on
I have enjoyed reading articles by Sarah Zylstra. She is very thorough when she writes about people, and her latest piece on Frank Reich is superb. I knew the current Indianapolis Colts coach was a seminary president, but Zylstra goes further in-depth in how Reich went from playing football to attending seminary to becoming a seminary president (even before he graduated) to coaching an NFL team to the playoffs in his first head coaching year.
- Remembering Southwest Airlines founder
I was struggling to come up with a sixth topic until my wife suggested I mention Herb Kelleher dying.
I will be honest, before Karen told me about him, I had no idea who he was. Kelleher died Thursday, Jan. 3 at the age of 87. He was the co-founder of Southwest Airlines, and he left quite a legacy, especially among Southwest’s employees and former employees (my wife being one).
Check out USA Today’s article “Southwest’s Herb Kelleher: Five innovations that shaped U.S. aviation” and read how Kelleher impacted the airline industry. The first innovation listed is Kelleher’s priority on treating employees right. Karen raved about how well she was treated when she worked at Southwest Airlines and how Kelleher was very approachable by anybody who worked for him.
I’m not the biggest fan of air travel, mostly because of the annoyance it is today to fly, but I agree with the masses that Southwest is the most accommodating airline for passengers. Obviously Herb Kelleher is to thank for that.
by Amy Spear | Jan 2, 2019
“Suddenly, a man with leprosy approached him (Jesus)” (Matt. 8:2)
“… a Roman officer came and pleaded with him (Jesus)…” (Matt. 8:5)
“That evening many demon-possessed people were brought to Jesus” (Matt. 8:16)
“Some people brought to him a paralyzed man on a mat” (Matt. 9:2)
“Approached”, “came”, “brought”.
In each of these instances, the people drew near to Jesus. They came seeking healing from their physical ailments, and in each instance, Jesus healed them. They realized Jesus was the miracle maker. They needed a healer, someone to do for them what they couldn’t do for themselves.
It makes me wonder, do I take my handicaps to Jesus? Do I handle issues on my own when healing is waiting?
If I would take my wounded soul, my crushed spirit, my aching heart to Jesus, would He just leave me hanging in brokenness?
So many times I try to resolve my own problems before I go to Him. I exhaust plans A, B and C, and then when all else fails, I remember I have a God who can save me. Why does it take so long for us to remember Him, to remember He wants us to bring our brokenness before Him, to remember we have a God who is on our side?
Jesus longs for us to come to Him. All we must do is ask. “How much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask” (Matt. 7:11).
A—Aware: I need to be aware that I have a problem.
S—Savior: I have a Savior who can handle my problem.
K—Kneel: I need to kneel before the throne and ask God who can answer!
“Be healed! And instantly the leprosy disappeared” (Matt. 8:3).
“‘Go back home. Because you believed, it has happened.’ And the young servant was healed that same hour” (Matt.8:13).
“And the man jumped up and went home!” (Matt 9:7).
What if “healing” is waiting for you? Why wait for our plan to fail before we run to the Savior to heal? Be brave. Ask today! See how God bends down low to answer your earnest plea.
by Angela Sanders | Jan 1, 2019
Guess what. The kids will never be settled. Not completely.
Sure, some of the things I want for them will fall into place. They may have moments, even stretches, of happy, but I’m slowly learning that life is like one of those crazy tennis ball shooters, and it never turns off. They might dodge and volley successfully for a while, but they’re never going to get an extended rest.
No one does.
They’re going to get hit, and there’s not a single thing I can do about it. Now, you might think this realization would overwhelm or depress me, but it’s actually a bit of a relief. You see, I know what I have to do, and this truth makes the job a little easier.
I don’t know about the rest of you parents, moms in particular, but I’ve been waiting twenty-three years for the ache in my heart to subside, the one that began when my oldest was born, the one that ebbs and flows with my children’s successes and failures, health and illness, joy and sadness. Dreading the squeeze of adrenaline that has followed every one of my babies’ cries, children’s tears, teenagers’ pained expressions, and young adults’ vulnerable texts, I’ve poured much to most of my time and energy into heading them off, not even hoping for awesome, just normal, so my weary heart can rest.
That’s no way to live.
First of all, it’s wrong. My time and energy? It belongs to God—all of it—and I have sacrificed way too much of it on the altar of the life I imagined for my children, something God may never even have had in mind for them.
Now, God’s been faithful to use what I have given Him to advance His Kingdom, and I’m grateful, but I can’t help wondering what He might have done through me if my attention hadn’t been quite as divided, if I’d had His glory in mind when making parenting decisions all along instead of just more recently. Whatever He might have done, I’m sure He accomplished it in other ways, but I hate that I missed out on opportunities to participate. Even more, I hate that I missed out on opportunities to express my devotion and gratitude to the Father for all He’s done for me.
Second, it’s a bad example to set for my children, whose greatest good is achieved when God is glorified and His Kingdom, their inheritance as born-again believers, grows.
God’s receiving the praise and worship He deserves for being Who He is and doing what He’s done is more important than anything else. Anything. Of course, I’ve known all along it was more important than my own happiness and have done my best to prove that. However, it’s also more important than my children’s happiness, and I know my words and actions to this point haven’t always conveyed that truth.
Well, today, that changes. Todd and I are empty nesters now, so it might seem like a moot point, but it’s not. Once a parent, always a parent. For the rest of their lives, I will be making decisions that affect my children—their children, too, if that’s what God has in mind for them—and I’m going to spend that time giving God His due, no matter the cost.
I thought I might feel a little anxious about this resolution, but I’m really not. I know and truly believe that God is working all things together for my family’s good because we all love Him and have been called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28). What’s more, He’s not a God of confusion (1 Cor. 14:33). If something is His will for me, then it’s His will for my loved ones, too.
Like I said before, the kids are never going to settle anyway. If they suffer as a result of my obedience, at least the sting will count for something good and lasting. At most, it will deepen their faith.