by Chris Doyle | Oct 26, 2018
Greetings!
The weather is becoming more enjoyable but still a conundrum. I’m looking forward to spending time in Norman tomorrow afternoon, as the temperature is projected to be 78 degrees.
Right now, though, as I sit in my house and begin writing this week’s Doyle’s Half Dozen, I keep fluctuating the thermostat from heat to air conditioning and back to heat. I’m reminded of why my dad always said to “wear layers.”
This week’s DHD topics are settled, however, as I share with you some confident views on six timely topics.
- Who is next Oklahoma governor?
Do you laugh whenever you say or hear the word “gubernatorial”? It’s a rather formal, official word, but it sounds like it has “goober” at the beginning of it.
As far as the Oklahoma gubernatorial race, Republican Kevin Stitt has a seven-point lead over Democrat Drew Edmondson, according to a recent poll, but it could be a tight result on Election Night next week.
Across the board, Republicans are taking a lot of heat regarding recent political issues, especially in the area of education. Another trend that doesn’t favor the GOP is how Oklahoma traditionally favors the opposite party representing the White House. A Democrat president results in a Republican Oklahoma governor and vice versa.
Because of my convictions, I can never vote for a candidate who supports abortion, regardless of political party. This means Kevin Stitt will get my vote.
However, more than likely, Drew Edmondson will win the election. If he does, please pray for how this affects our state on the issue of sanctity of life.
- School options
Two people close to me have made recent decisions involving the education of their children. One has a son in junior high who started public school this year, after spending his previous schooling in a home school setting. So far, the results have been extremely positive, as the boy is making good grades, mostly As, and he has demonstrated himself to be more responsible in his daily habits.
Another person has a junior high daughter who has experienced some serious health concerns, which has caused her to fall behind in school. Her parents are considering placing her in a home school format, thinking it will be better for her because of her health and to help her catch up on her studies.
This reminded me of a blog written by Trevin Wax titled “Educating Our Kids: Exploring Our Options.” This is an excellent presentation of the different forms of schooling. Wax pointed out that all educational styles have both positives and negatives.
He said Bible-believing Christians can and do come to different conclusions on this matter. The key is to identify the possible negatives of the school option chosen and how to overcome them. Also, be supportive of those who may choose a different schooling process.
- Greear gets it
Current Southern Baptist Convention President J.D. Greear is a good communicator. It can be easy to like him, even though many appear to disagree with him on some issues.
I would like for him to demonstrate a stronger position in supporting the Cooperative Program, the funding entity that financially supports the numerous ministries of the Southern Baptist Convention, and encourage young pastors and the next generation to be on board in giving through the Cooperative Program.
As I said, Greear is likeable, and he earned some points with me when I read a recent Baptist Press article about his “Ask Me Anything” podcast.
When it comes to Reformed Theology, or Calvinism, I find the topic laborious. I know what I believe when it comes to God’s sovereignty and the free will of man, and I am at peace about it. If someone is seeking understanding about Reformed Theology, I would help them if they ask me. If someone is seeking to debate, I will probably make light of it, change the subject or walk away.
This is why I like how Greear responded when he was asked if he is a Calvinist. He said Calvinism “is never an issue to me until it becomes one to you. And then when it becomes one to you, then I’m on the opposite side of whatever you are because I just don’t feel like it’s a central thing.”
It may be possible that Greear and I are complete opposites when it comes to the points of Calvinism, but we are in full agreement on how to prioritize it.
- A deceiving deduction on human dignity
Tina Boesch gave a review on Dan Darling’s new book “The Dignity Revolution: Reclaiming God’s Rich Vision for Humanity.”
I have not read the book, but I know Darling is solid on Christians issues. However, I struggled with a comment Boesch made about transcending politics when it comes to particular human dignity issues.
She said, “Certain policy positions on these issues are consistently associated with either right or left. The dignity of unborn babies is championed by the right while the dignity of the poor and refugees is championed by the left.”
There is a deceiving element in the last part of that last sentence – that the left champion dignity of the poor and refugees.
I know many who would be identified with the “right” or having a conservative perspective who have done great work caring for the poor. I also have seen conservative Christian churches involved in ministering with refugees.
Conservatives would not agree with how liberals or the “left” would want to help the poor and refugees, as liberals would prefer to “champion” through increased government oversight and raised taxes. But to allude that conservatives don’t care for the poor or refugees at all is a complete farce.
On the other hand, I would like for Boesch to explain what the “left” would do for unborn babies in comparison to what conservatives do for the poor and refugees.
- Mohler on migrant caravan
The enormous convoy of Honduran migrants that is making its way through Mexico and to the United States southern border is a major concerning issue. The last count I heard is 7,000 individuals are trekking through Central America, seeking to reside in America.
The best commentary I heard is from Albert Mohler in his Wed., Oct. 24 edition of The Briefing. You can read the transcript if you prefer not to listen. It is a solid objective analogy and helpful for Christians to understand what to make of this entourage.
When it comes to helping immigrants, I refer to what Anthony Jordan, former executive director-treasurer of the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, once said. He said it is important for the government to do its job, maintain order and enforce laws. He also said it is important for the church to do its job and that is, in the name of Jesus Christ and for the sake of the Gospel, care for those in need regardless of who they are and what they have done.
- Sasse’s social media rules
I conclude this week’s DHD with sharing an article on Senator Ben Sasse. Check out why Sasse quit Twitter for half a year, and go down to the end and read his list of 16 truths Sasse and his family will apply when it comes to dealing with social media.
by Michael Foust | Oct 26, 2018
The faith-based movie “Indivisible” (PG-13) opens this weekend, telling the true story of a chaplain whose marriage was nearly torn apart due to emotions and pressures he didn’t expect.
Heather Turner is a stressed-out Army wife who wants her husband home.
For the past 15 months, she’s been juggling three children and day-to-day-life while her husband – Chaplain Darren Turner – serves in his first tour in Iraq. Separation has been tougher than they expected.
But when Darren returns to the U.S., life doesn’t go back to normal. The loving husband and father has been replaced by someone who is distant and angry. Instead of playing with the children, he sits alone in the backyard, contemplating the horrors of war. And instead of helping with the housework, he argues … a lot.
Finally, after one heated argument, Heather orders him to move out.
Darren and Heather each got into military life to help save souls and rescue marriages. Are they willing to go to battle to save their own relationship?
The faith-based movie Indivisible (PG-13) opens this weekend, telling the true story of a chaplain whose marriage was nearly torn apart due to emotions and pressures he didn’t expect. It stars Justin Bruening (Grey’s Anatomy) as Darren and Sarah Drew (Grey’s Anatomy, Mom’s Night Out) as Heather, and was directed by David G. Evans, who also helmed the faith-based movie The Grace Card. Provident Films, the same film company behind I Can Only Imagine and War Room, was involved with Indivisible.
It reportedly is the first film ever to spotlight a military chaplain, although its target audience is military and non-military families. That’s because it carries many of the universal themes and messages that were in the 2008 movie Fireproof.
The movie begins with Darren reporting for duty at Fort Stewart and learning that due to a shortage in personnel, he needs to travel overseas faster than he and Heather had planned.
Indivisible is an entertaining and inspiring movie that has a message that many families, including those in ministry, need to hear. Bruening and Drew are solid in their roles, too.
Warning: minor/moderate spoilers!
(Scale key: none, minimal, moderate, extreme)
Violence/Disturbing
Minimal. We see several gore-free combat scenes. Death is discussed. Bodies are placed on stretchers. Darren carries a dead child. One of the most tense-scenes involves Heather and her attempt to prevent her asthmatic daughter from dying (The girl survives).
Sexuality/Sensuality/Nudity
None. Darren and Heather kiss.
Coarse Language
None.
Other Positive Elements
Darren’s commitment to the people in his unit is impressive. When one soldier tells Darren to mind his own business and to stop asking personal questions, Darren lays off momentarily but doesn’t give up. He also befriends a soldier who is doubting God. It’s obvious that Darren has a calling on his life from God. Heather, too, is involved in her own ministry outreach (to military spouses).
Indivisible-290.cr2
Other Stuff You Might Want To Know
Darren and Heather have a couple of heated arguments.
Life Lessons
Indivisible provides multiple life lessons, including ones on forgiveness and reconciliation, selflessness and balancing family life and ministry. Speaking of that …
Worldview/Application
The movie’s primary theme is reconciliation within a marriage. But related to that is a theme directed at those in the ministry: balancing family responsibilities with God’s call on your life.
Most pastors work well beyond 40 hours during the week, facing pressures not seen in some other professions. Just like in Indivisible, the family can be forgotten.
“There are elements of this film that I think many pastors will be able to identify with – the struggles they face every day,” Evans, the director, told me. “It’s the phone calls, the visits to homes and hospitals, and the counseling that they do. … We’ve all seen examples where pastors can have a huge fall from grace, and they’re being attacked by the enemy.”
The good news: God can salvage any broken relationship.
What Works
Acting is a weakness in some faith-based films. In Indivisible, it’s a strength.
What Doesn’t
The war scenes are passable, but they are not as strong (or gritty) as in most movies you’ll see.
Discussion Questions
- What caused Darren and Heather’s relationship to fall apart? What saved it? Who was at fault?
- What is the key to forgiveness and reconciliation within a marriage? Within friendships?
- Why does ministry sometimes take precedent over family life? What is the secret to finding the right balance?
Entertainment rating: 3 out of 5 stars. Family-friendly rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Rated PG-13 for some thematic material and war violence.
Photos credit: Provident Films
by Ryan Smith | Oct 25, 2018
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:1-2).
I have been thinking about plants. I don’t know much about plants other than you put them in soil, add sunlight and high-quality H2O, and voila – a plant. It seems like a simple, almost transactional process.
However, any kind of growth is not that simple. There are no vending machines for maturity. In John 15, Jesus says He is the vine, we are the branches, and we must abide in Him. Again, this seems like a simple, almost transactional process. But as any true disciple will tell you, following Jesus is anything but simple.
We know many of the essential ingredients and processes – prayer, Bible reading, the church – but John 15 gives us another key and vital process necessary for growing and bearing fruit: pruning.
Interestingly, Jesus doesn’t identify the Father here as the Plant Waterer. He doesn’t even call Him the Planter or Gardener. While these descriptors may be accurate of God the Father, in this reference, Jesus calls the Father the vinedresser. Why? He prunes His branches.
As I understand it, the process of pruning takes away smaller or less healthy stems from a branch so that fewer but more robust stems may have increased nutrients and there more growth. Pruning also removes parts of the plant that don’t cause it to grow.
Later in John 15, Jesus says the nutrients that flow from Him, the true vine, come through His Words and commandments. In other words, by abiding in God’s Word, we abide with Christ – connected to the source of life.
If I am one of God’s branches attached to the vine of Christ, I wonder what it is that God the Father needs to prune so that the parts of me drawing life and spiritual nutrients from the Word can grow and flourish. What diverts my time away from the Bible?
We often assume God will only take away bad things in our lives to make us grow. As a vinedresser, we assume He is looking for the dead stems to tear away that we may be vibrant and aesthetically pleasing.
While right pruning does take away the dead or dangerous weight, it also takes away parts that provide some fruit so that more and greater fruit may grow. There is a parallel here with the Parable of the Talents in Matthew 25. In this parable, Jesus portrays a servant who has one amount of his master’s money but produces no more with it. The master’s response? Take it away and give it to the one who has 10 talents worth. In other words, he gets pruned.
In the Christian life, it is easy to give our time and attention to many good pursuits. As long as they are not bad things, we believe, they can stay in our lives, and we can flourish. God the vinedresser, however, may have a different view.
What are the things that draw time, energy and effort away from learning, trusting and applying God’s Word? If some things were cut out of your life – even good things – would you be more fruitful for Christ? What produces some Gospel fruit in your life but could provide more fruit if it were removed?
There are times as Christians we need not only examine our lives for bad things, but also for underperforming good things or activities that draw nutrients of time, energy and attention away from God’s Word and our obedience to it. A busy Christian is not necessarily a thriving Christian.
May we ask God the Spirit to examine our lives and show us where God the Father may need to prune our lives that we may most glorify God the Son.
“And I pray this; that your love will keep on growing in knowledge and every kind of discernment, so that you may approve the things that are superior and may be pure and blameless in the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God” (Phil. 1:9-11).
by Caleb Gordon | Oct 24, 2018
A couple of days ago I was sent a sermon by a friend and was asked what I thought of it. It was from a demonization that has had a lot of upheaval in the past decade. Nevertheless, I watched about 10 minutes of this message. That’s all I could stomach.
In 10 minutes this “pastor” was able to tell adults in the congregation that children have a better grasp of morality than they do. That the morality of 60 years ago has vastly changed from the morality of today and hurt feelings is a bigger sin than sexual sin. He also eluded to the idea that only certain sections of the Bible is truly inspired, and the rest is just the interpretation of men.
This pastor spent the 10 minutes that I watched, talking about how important polls were. He gave them more credence than Scripture itself.
And to top this all off, he went through the percentages of their church, and out of 17,000 active members in their church, 742 of them lived in a homosexual lifestyle of some sort. There was no data for how many were living in heterosexual sin outside the confines of marriage.
I finally had to turn off this broadcast. My heart was so full of anger and sadness all at the same time that I could not handle it. My whole attitude changed because of this.
This “church” spits in the face of the commands of God. It made a mockery of the Scriptures, and the thing that hurt the most is that tens of thousands of people are blindly following this church’s teaching with no thought for truth. As a result, they very well could be headed straight to the pit of hell.
Here is why this is happening.
PARENTS: You are not leading your families well. More particularly, MEN, you’ve neglected your responsibility so, therefore, you’ve allowed wolves to creep in and take captive your families. We need our men to move back into the role of spiritual leadership. Yes I’m talking to you and me both! We’ve got to stop! Stop focusing on so many other things. Your kids are right in front of you. Here is the best place for me to start!
LEAD THEM! Be the servant who will give up your life for them.
PRAY WITH THEM! Take time each day to pray over them. To pray for them! They need it.
TALK MORE. Our mobile phones are going to be the death of us! I know. I’m guilty. Just ask my kids. They want to talk more, and there will come a time when they won’t want to talk. What’s wrong with me!
GET IN THE WORD MORE! My tribe needs me to be in God’s Word more! They need to see me in it. I need to lead by example.
BE MORE INVOLVED IN YOUR CHURCH! What is happening at your church is going to matter in 10,000 years, either way. Good or bad. And if you’re involved, you can help make sure it’s good stuff that is happening at your church! Be PRESENT!
My prayer is that my heart changes! I need Jesus more than I need anything else! I really need to be focused on things that are eternal.
I am my biggest problem! You are your biggest problem! We need to stop focusing on me and start focusing on Jesus and what HE WANTS!
God help me!
by Angela Sanders | Oct 23, 2018
There are many ways to make Mr. Minister feel appreciated during this Minister Appreciation Month, but if you really want to touch his heart, befriend his missus.
“I’d love to,” you say, “but I don’t know how! She’s just so…” Fill in the blank.
Whatever word you chose, I assure you there are ways to get around that barrier.
My husband Todd and I have been in ministry together for over twenty-five years. We served in three local churches before he began denominational work ten years ago, and as much as I’d like to say I was the same person in all of those settings, that would probably be a lie.
Of course, I knew all along I was called by God to impact the Kingdom as helpmate to my husband. However, I wasn’t always sure what that was supposed to look like, and the capacity and manner in which I was able to serve varied according to age, life stage, and church dynamic.
Sometimes I felt confident and empowered. Other times, I felt insecure and helpless.
Sometimes I felt strong and productive. Other times, I felt fragile and stymied.
Sometimes I had lots of leftover love to lavish, and other times I was too busy licking my own wounds to notice anyone else’s.
In short, I was just like everyone else.
God was always strong, of course, and I trust that He was able to work through my obedience and in spite of my weaknesses at every age and stage. However, I know all too well what some people expect from the families of those in vocational ministry and how unrealistic those expectations can be sometimes, so I cringe to think how folks may have finished the sentence above in reference to me.
This being true, I am extra thankful for those who took on the challenge of befriending the minister’s wife.
Want to do the same? Here’s how:
Examine your motives
Why do you want to be her friend? What are you hoping to get out of the relationship? Odds are, she’ll be wondering these same things, as most minister’s wives have been burned at some point, so if your answers are self-serving, you’d probably better wait until they aren’t.
Set aside preconceived ideas
There are as many opinions of what makes a great minister’s wife as there are people in local church. If you go in expecting your friend to live up to your expectations, you’ll set yourself up for disappointment and both of you for hurt. However, if you make a point of destroying your mental checklist, you will leave room to be pleasantly surprised and for a healthy friendship to grow.
Get to know her
This could be a challenge. Years of living in a fish bowl may have left your friend feeling exposed. If so, it might take a while to break through the wall she’s built to protect herself from those who forget she has feelings. Don’t give up! Ask her questions. Listen to her answers. Spend time with her outside of church. Watch what she does and how she reacts in different situations, and you’ll catch a glimpse of her heart.
Be real
Be yourself. All the time. Don’t act one way around your friend and another around everyone else. She doesn’t expect—or want—you to put on a show for her. Doing so will only breed distrust. No, let your friend see you at your best and your worst, and she’ll eventually trust you with hers. When she finally does, don’t spook. This peek at her personal journey toward Christ-likeness is a privilege, as she probably doesn’t let many people in this far. Be sure to steward it well.
Love her family
This should go without saying, but you’d be surprised how often minister’s wives are expected to listen to criticism about their families—their husbands, in particular—without losing their cool, overlook mistreatment of their loved ones, and play go-between for the discontents in the congregation. Show your friend’s husband and children the same patience, mercy, and forgiveness you want others to show your family, and you’ll have set yourself apart in a big way. Heap grace on them, and you’ll have your friend’s full attention and gratitude.
Protect, include, and support her
Most minister’s wives have thick skin, but it’s often made of scar tissue. One word or action leveled with strength in just the right—or wrong—spot could open them wide and do serious damage. Stand up for your friend. Don’t allow others to gossip about her and/or her family. Keep her confidences to yourself.
When groups get together, remind them to include your friend in the guest list. Most don’t because they assume the minister’s wife is busy elsewhere. This may be true, but that busyness probably has very little to do with self-care and/or building the relationships she wants and desperately needs. She may turn your invitation down, but that doesn’t mean she prefers the things that are monopolizing her time. Keep asking! Sooner or later, schedules will align, and she’ll be able to join you. Until then, just being invited will make her feel loved.
Minister’s wives, perhaps more than anyone else in the church, are expected to be all things to all people. Sometimes, the best gift you can give your friend is to need her a little less than other people do. Yes, it might feel at times like you’re giving more to the friendship, but that’s just because your friend’s stick of butter has to cover more bread. Don’t get jealous or angry. Encourage her. Share her. Help her, and maybe she’ll have more time for you.
Respect her boundaries
Minister’s wives are privy to information other people aren’t. Sadly, many people befriend them because they want the power, real or imagined, that comes from being “in the know.” Don’t be one of those people. If there’s information to be gleaned, get it somewhere else. Don’t compromise your friendship by pumping your friend for information that’s not hers to give. Furthermore, if you sense she’s telling you more than she ought, stop her. Protect her from herself. She’ll thank you later, and you will have proven yourself a genuine friend that loves her for her.
Give and take
As circumstances call for it, do what you can for your friend and let her do what she can for you. Yes, there’s something to be said for needing her a little less than other people do, but if you keep her at arm’s length when she has the desire and means to meet a need in your life, she’ll feel like your project instead of your friend. If you want her to share her mess with you, share your mess with her.
Stick it out
From a distance, the life of a minister’s wife looks like a lot of fun. Sure, people know who she is, give her attention, and want hers in return, but it’s mostly hard work and folks are fickle. They won’t always like your friend. What will you do then? If you are a real friend, you won’t abandon her just because her approval rating goes down, even if she has truly messed up. You’ll stick it out. Sure, you may have to correct, forgive, and/or restore her, but you’ll stay because, in Christ, she’s more than a friend: she’s your sister.
Want to be a blessing? See and value your minister’s wife for the uniquely designed individual she is, complete with her own quirks and needs, then love her like you would any other friend. It may take a little work, but she’ll be yours for life!
by Emily Howsden | Oct 22, 2018
It’s the most wonderful time of the year! As October comes to a close, Halloween is just next week, inevitably Thanksgiving is around the corner and before we know it we will be waking up on Christmas morning.
Or at least that’s how the holiday season always seems to go, doesn’t it?
My husband and I have a small photography business, and October and November are two months that can best be described as “drinking from a fire hose” in terms of how busy we stay taking photos.
Everyone wants to capture their family at a specific moment in time. Whether it’s for their annual Christmas card or to hang on the walls of their homes, our hopes are that the pictures that we take will be cherished for years and years to come.
I like to imagine each family, years down the line, at Christmas or another holiday gathering, remembering the exact day we took their pictures.
This is something I LOVE about taking pictures. Pictures capture a moment in time that we can look back on and laugh at the fashion choices that were made, moms and dads can look back and see how tiny their little ones once were, and extended family members can admire their loved ones they might not get to see regularly from afar.
Photographer Aaron Siskind once said, “Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”
You have to be incredibly intentional when taking photos, both as the photographer and the people being photographed.
Dates are circled on calendars, coordinating outfits are selected, and then there’s the “day of” scramble, where everyone hopes and prays nothing catastrophic happens before the hours or so mapped out to take pictures.
On the photography side of things, sometimes the best photos are the “in between frames” type of photos, where organic smiles and laughter ensue. Additionally, I try to be intentional by talking to the people, while taking their picture, about something they enjoy, whether that be their family, a hobby or something else. People’s eyes light up and smiles are genuine when they talk about things they love.
As for me, I take photos of the things I love. If you were to look on my phone camera roll right now, you would find hundreds and hundreds of photos of my son Silas, my husband Casey, my pets, our home and our families. I take these pictures, so I can go back later and reminisce.
Last weekend was the four-year anniversary of my brother Joel finding out he had a brain tumor.
Four years later, I can happily report that he is alive and well, and thriving nonetheless. During his hard times, a source of joy was looking back at old pictures of our family before the chaos of cancer struck. The pictures were glimmers of hope in what seemed like otherwise dark times.
I say all of this to encourage you friends to be present and be intentional with the time you have with the people you love. Take “too many” photos, capture those moments in time, and then be present and enjoy the holiday season with the people you love.
Take no day or holiday for granted!
